Still Only A Child
by RchHghr
Summary: Sometimes children forget who they are, and what they mean to others, and the bonds that bound them. Ciel gets sick, and needs to be reminded just exactly where his place is. Fluff! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This just popped into my head one day. Enjoy!

I am annoyed. I am beyond annoyed that my body fails me like this. All this hacking away, and I can no longer stand up straight. I can't walk. I can't even catch my breath.

My heart beats with the pound of my throbbing temples. It feels like I took a topple down the main staircase hitting every single step on the way down.

I can not even make it out of my study. I want to be in my bed, but I find myself face planted into the rug. The dust I've kicked up, inhaled into my lungs, makes them burn, and increases the hacks that come from my mouth.

I can not get up. I don't have the arm strength to even bring myself into a sitting position.

I try to take some deep breaths to control my wild heart, but it hurts. I need to summon Sebastian no matter how much I don't care for him to see me in this state. I need to get off the blasted floor.

I try to make words come out of my mouth. A syllable, a sound, but all that comes out is ragged breathing. It's wheezing. I can hear the sound of my own breathing. This isn't good. Something is brewing beneath the surface. I don't need this! I need to get going. There's so much to do. I don't want to be stuck in bed, even though I don't think I have a choice.

I try to hold in the next cough, a chance for my body to relax, but like something forced it has to come out.

My body has already broken out in a sweat. My clothes feel drenched. A shiver wracks my body.

I can not call him out loud. In my shadowy, mind's eye I summon him to me. I order him to this spot. I order him to open the door and find me.

The door opens and I see his shoes. Not one speck of dirt to be seen.

Energy sapped I close my eyes.

"Young master?" he questions. He scoops me into his arms. I do not have the energy to say anything to defend myself. I am in defeat. I hate it more than I can stand.

Against his chest he carries me like a child. His hands are ice cold. My cheek pressed up against him I feel my coughs come back at me.

"This is not good," he speaks without raise in tone. He's not perturbed by the situation.

My throat is too raw to say anything. My head is throbbing too much to do anything other than being carried like a small child.

With the fear of falling I latch on. I feel myself falling, but I can't. If I end up on the floor again I'm afraid I'm going to throw up my stomach.

"Master, you have to let go so I can put you on the bed." I hear his words and I let go. I feel myself falling, a dizzy spell, perhaps, but I feel my body meet the bed, and his presence is gone. I won't say it out loud, but I need him here. Now.

Suddenly he is back. My head is pushed back and I feel cold liquid go down my throat. I sputter with a cough. I feel it come right back out of my mouth.

"Sebastian!" I sputter.

"Drink the water, it should subdue the cough for a little while." He's right next to me on the bed. He lifts my body, against my wishes, and tips back my head again. This time the water comes more slowly, and my greedy throat shallows and swallows until the glass cup is taken away. I am not lowered.

"I want to go to sleep," I can finally say. "Cancel all activities for today."

"Yes, my lord." He says with grace. He lowers me onto the pillow. I feel the feeling of once again falling, but its quick. I let out a low cough. My chest rises and falls with each labored breath.

I try to put the covers around myself, but I'm too weak. I shouldn't be this weak. I haven't been sick in quite some time. It must be the weather. I do not like the changing of the seasons.

I open my eyes to peer around, but the sun shining through the window is too bright, I have to close my eyes. I close them tight, and do my best to turn on my side. Another few hacks escape me.

"I have summoned a doctor, please do try to not give him a hard time," Sebastian's says from out of no where. Have I been sleeping? I don't remember. How much time has passed? My chest still burns as if I have been out on a beach all day.

"I don't need a doctor," I grip, "I just need some rest. I should be fine by tomorrow. I am not requesting any meals for the rest of day."

"You must eat to keep up your energy. Perhaps something light will sit easier in your stomach."

"Are you going to feed it to me?" I want it to come out sarcastically, but it sounds more like a request.

"As you wish," he responds just as curt as any other statement that comes out of his mouth.

"No!" I manage, but I am once again alone. Quiet. I need to sleep. If I'm asleep I am not coughing.  
...

 _Strong hands are on me. I can not get them off. I can not even claw my way free. Something is pressed to my face. I can't fight my way free. I cant sputter. I cant move free. I cant. I cant. I still cant use my body to escape even if I wanted to._


	2. Chapter 2

There are too many pillows behind my head. Someone is close by. I open my eyes slowly and discover that its Mey-rin with dirty linen in her hands. How did she change it without my notice?

Before she could notice that I am awake I shut my eyes. But the placement of her cold hand on my forehead doesn't heed to go unnoticed. One eye visible glares up at her and she steps back in shock. The linen falls out of her hands as they come up to her face. She bows her head.

"Please forgive me, Master. We were all worried about you. I will summon Sebastian for you!" She bows again, collects the linen and hurries out of the room. She doesn't close the door.

I'm in my night shirt even though the sun is well above in the sky. There are no clouds, and a light breeze rattles the trees.

My chest doesn't feel very bad anymore. I can breathe, even though its loud. I haven't coughed, and don't feel the need to for the moment.

My hands are very shaky as they move soaked, sweat strands off my face.

"Young Master, you are finally awake," he speaks as he makes his way in with a tray balanced in one hand.

"I told you all I needed was a nap."

He offers up the tea cup from the tray, but I give a small shake of my head. I am not interested in whatever is in the cup, or whatever is in the bowl.

"Actually, its been a few days…"

Those words capture my attention. I bring my attention back to him from straying to the window. Since he is the only one here I take off my eye patch and wipe my face with my sleeve. He whips out a handkerchief and holds it out to me. I take it with shaky fingers, which do not escape his notice.

"What's this nonsense about a few days?"

He smirks. "Allow me to feed you, and I shall give you all the answers in which you desire."

My attention goes to the window. "I don't think I can eat."

"Nonsense. We'll start slow." He puts down the cup, and picks up the bowl. He spoons broth and holds it out to me. I face it and accept. It's hard to swallow, but it goes down. Now I cough, but its only because of the sensation.

"Right after I informed you about the summons of a doctor I brought up some food to slate you without weighing you down. You were already unconscious. The doctor arrived shortly before dark, attended you, and left medicine which you have already completely taken."

He offers me another spoonful and I accept, but its even harder to swallow than the first. I wave off anymore attempts and lay down on my side with my back to him.

"If you do not eat you will never build up your strength."

"I cant," I mumble. Another cough comes out. I do not want to start this all over again. I do not need another fever leaving me to suffocate in my nightmares. I deal with those enough on nights when the moon is well beyond my window.

"More water, then? Perhaps a little honey in your tea? You don't want to damage your throat."

"No," I bite out a little more sharply. "Go on. What happened next."

"Very well." He continues on the same level, while setting the bowl down on the tray, "You developed a fever that caused your body to break out into a rash. I put you in the tub. Your subconscious thoughts and dreams caused you to lash out and defend. I managed to subdue you and put you to bed. For your safety I latched the covers tightly and managed to keep you safe until you tired yourself out- which wasn't long.

"You bounded me?" I scoff. I turn over and face him.

"It was only for your own good. With your lack of control you would've been worse off." He smirks. It's a challenge that I cannot accept right now.

"What was placed on my face. The blasted thing nearly suffocated me."

"Hm?"

"I don't remember much, but something covered my face and dragged me under. It could not possibly be from something in my nightmares."

We lock eyes.

"Tell me what it was."

He chuckles. He bites down on the tip of his glove and pulls its off with his teeth. He displays to me his hand, and the dark nails that'd haunt someone lesser.

"There's nothing there," I remark lamely.

"Excellent observation," he mocks, "but it's exactly what I am showing you. I willed you to sleep, and you simply obeyed. I can show you again, if you like? Or you can eat a few more spponfuls."

"What are you going on about?"

"Three swipes of the hand and you'll be back into a deep sleep."

I am not going to deal with something I cannot awake from. If I cannot awake from my nightmares, then what'd be next?

"I'm not hungry, and the first option doesn't sound good either. I'm just going to take another nap. After that I should be fine to get up and about." I turn back on my preferable side. He picks up the tray and rises.

Coughing erupts in my chest. It dances lights in front of my vision. It frustrates me even more.

"Let me be! Get to work and do not disturb me until dark."

He bows with one hand to his chest. The bowl and cup clink in the sound as he says, "Yes, my Lord. Rest easy."

I know what that means. I know all his games. Once I have the energy, the fun can resume.


	3. Chapter 3

It takes me a long time to fall asleep. When I am awakened it's a struggle for me to sit up and take notice of the change in atmosphere. Like my order, it's dark outside, and he's by the bed with a tray and a bowl and tea cup once again.

"Shall we try again? I brought you some peppermint tea with a little honey to perk you up, and a simple bowl of soup for easy digestion."

"Okay, fine."

He takes a seat in the chair next to the bed and proceeds to feed me. I eat about half the bowl before I can't eat anymore. I manage to drink a sip full of tea before it becomes too much. I hold up a hand to dismiss anymore.

He sets the tray aside and moves the cover off myself. He unties my patch. I don't remember putting it back on. Our eyes meeting once its dropped onto the bed.

"A bath will do you some good. It might spur up some energy for you to walk, perhaps."

He undresses me and carries me into the bathroom and draws a bath. I say nothing as he cleans me, and then brings me back to the room and dresses me in a fresh night shirt.

He sets me on my feet and I cross my arms.

"If you may," he offers.

I lift my foot to take a step and manage it, but it takes a lot out of me. Why!? I'm almost better, I shouldn't be winded by a step. I do another and wobble. I feel very foolish.

"That will be en-"

"No!" I bark, "I should be able to just walk. This shouldn't be a problem." I try again, but I fail, and with Sebastian's help I'm back in bed.

"You've hardly eaten all week, so your body is feeling pretty malnutrition. With your appetite returning we should have you up and dancing in no time."

"Hm." I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. He puts a blanket around my shoulders.

"You should get some more rest. In the morning we'll try again with breakfast. Your lack of sleep from before can surely be made up through the night. Just three simple swipes and you'll get all the sleep your body desires."

"Will I awake?" I suddenly question. "What will be the point if I'm dragged under and cannot resurface."

"You will certainly resurface. You think meekly of me. While I can surely dominate control, you seem to have forgotten that we are bound by a contract, and anything less will not lead to the breaking of it. You will not be dragged too deep, because I will be waiting for you at the surface. Until the very end I will do your bidding, and in the end you will simply pay your debt."

If I'm to believe his words then I should have nothing to worry about; at least not now.

I lay back. He pulls the covers up over me. "May I?"

"Fine, fine, I don't care."

He takes off his glove. His fingers flutter down my face.

Once…

Twice….

Thi…..


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later the weather is once again sunny and clear. After days of rain the grounds are very soft and moist. The wind is calm today and the birds are out. I am finally able to walk on my own, out onto the grounds and into a chair.

They applaud me. The five of them applaud me as if I've done something spectacular. I haven't. I walked, something I've always been able to do. It shouldn't be anything to celebrate.

"Alright. Alright, enough slacking. There's plenty of work to get done."

"Yes, Master!" they choir to me in unison as they all separate. Sebastian brings me my morning tea and lingers long enough to see me drink it on my own.

"We have work to do," I tell him, "all this wasted time and we've fallen behind. You have better not become rusty."

"No sir," he says, "I'm ready when you are." He gives me a bow with the knowing look I know all too well.

He stands by while I drink my tea and even longer while I watch the late morning turn into the afternoon. By my side until the very end, even if I sometimes forget.


End file.
